Can I Just Complain...

Can I just take a minute to complain? I stick to my diet; I cheat now and then, but usually only just a bite. For the most part, I just find alternatives. I work out. I keep a steady schedule. I sleep on a normal basis, except weekends are usually off. So all in all, I’ve earned my minute of grumbling reflection.

For those who don’t know (feel free to read my story: “Why I Can’t Eat Normal”), my body decided to kick my butt into health gear. It decided (by itself, I might add) that it didn’t want to deal with a good deal of the food that encompasses America.

A short review.

I cannot eat white flour (unbleached, enriched, white, any of that); refined, granulated sugar (the natural stuff’s alright, but not too much); dairy; fried foods (usually because of the batter); bananas, avocados, oranges; and some artificial sweetener/sugar alcohol thingy called sorbitol. (Oh, plus, I’m also vegetarian. Due to the fact I can’t eat dairy and rarely eat eggs, I guess that sort of makes me almost vegan.)

First, I’d like to complain about bananas. I have this thing called Fruit-Latex Syndrome. Yea. Wahoo for me.

Bananas. They’re nutritious. They’re tasty. If you like it, the texture is quite desirable. Good for a quick snack. So yea, I guess they have their pros. (That’s sort of a lie, I really wish I could eat bananas.)

But honestly, another let down about not being able to eat them? Peanut butter is ALWAYS have to be paired with bananas!

Life just isn’t fair sometimes.

Second. Gum.

Do you know what is in like 99.9% of that chewy, sweet, jaw-entertainment, breath-freshening treat? Sorbitol.

This excessively used sweetener happens to swell my stomach to an uncomfortable size of an early pregnancy (of which, I am not). However, I had a terrible gum addiction. I mean, to the point where I’d chew gum, take it out to eat, finish eating, and grab a new piece (or two dependent on the type of gum). Now? I can’t eat most it. The Boy did find a type of gum I can eat. But still! That’s a whole lot of gum that’s out of my reach.

Third. White flour.

I won’t complain about this one often. I’m actually sort of grateful I can’t eat it. Recently, however, pizza has smelt extra good. And I don’t think you can understand how much I miss egg rolls. I keep telling The Boy and Pyro that one of these days I will suck it up and brave to eat an egg roll. The stomach pain can’t last too long, right?

I don’t know if that’ll happen…But man, I miss egg rolls. Plus, The Boy doesn’t like them and is always putting his up for grabs.

Four. Smores.

I’m not sure anyone understands how depressing it is to not be able to eat smores. I mean, I guess I can sort of handle the marshmallow, it’s basically all sugar, so my blood sugar wouldn’t be too happy, but whatever. Not being able to have milk chocolate sort of sucks, but dark chocolate is like a million times better anyhow. (Although, even finding dark chocolate without dairy is difficult.) The real kicker? I can’t eat graham crackers. I can have one type, but they’re Annie’s so they’re bunnies (kind of hard to make smores with them, though they are tasty). I have yet to find any graham cracker (pre-made and store bought) that I can eat. I love graham crackers. I love smores. I miss them.

I probably could continue to complain, though it won’t help. It may relieve temporary frustration, long term it won’t do much. Besides, I don’t wish my life any other way. I like where I am and how I have to eat.

To counter balance my complaints and finish up this post, here a few ups from this past week.

The Boy made Johnny Cakes!

I have cinnamon raisin bread again.

Oatmeal is always a win. It’s quick oats (usually I eat old fashioned); these are quite tasty!

I’ve also enjoyed a few cold veggie salads.

Plus, a fortune cookie!

This Post Should Be Titled "How Many Foods Can Hannah Describe As 'Thick'"

In light of National Peanut Butter Month, I decided to write out my top 10 Favorite Ways to Consume Peanut Butter. I could probably write more…But I would hate to bore you. Or if this is the first post of mine you’re reading, weird you out so much you choose not to come back. Hopefully, that won’t be the case.

My 10 Favorite Ways to Consume Peanut Butter:

#10 - Out of the Jar

Pure peanut butter, nothing gets in its way, nothing violates it, just peanut butter. My dessert is often one or two (or three) scoops of peanut butter. And since I often have much more than one type in the house, I have a wonderfully varied dessert.

#9 - Peanut Butter and Yogurt

I love Greek yogurt. Being lactose intolerant, it gets difficult to eat it. There are some brands that sell alternatives, however, there aren’t many stores reasonably near me that sell it. So I made my own. Using So Delicious yogurt and PB2 (powdered peanut butter) plus a vast amount of peanut butter, I’ve created (what I think) is an even better version. Leaving the mixture in the fridge for as long as possible allows it to thicken up to mimic the texture of Greek yogurt.

#8 - Oatmeal

Oatmeal is one of my first choice bases to work off of, while it has a flavor it’s not overbearing and goes with pretty much anything. Adding peanut butter helps to make it thicker (I like thick foods, haha). Oatmeal, even Old Fashioned, can have a big impact on my blood sugar, so having some protein in there helps balance things out. Plus, not only thick, the oatmeal gets gooey; gooey oatmeal is never a bad thing.

#7 - Instead of Milk

It started out with just Cheerios. It was an improvisation on dinner at work. I had planned yogurt and peanut butter, but upon opening my yogurt I found a nice blot of mold. Figured that would be bad to eat. It then spread of Honey Nut Cheerios, then an organic version. Then, one of the best choices I’ve ever made came into existence: Peanut Butter and Honey Bunches of Oats. If you follow my Twitter or Tumbler account, you realize just how obsessed I am with this dish. I use a 50/50 mix of Honey Roasted and With Almonds flavors, and then coat them in excessive amounts of peanut butter.

#6 - Peanut Butter Pasta

Peanut Butter Pasta is my version of Mac and Cheese. Don’t get grossed out, I don’t use cheese. The sauce that coats the pasta is water, peanut butter, PB2 (seriously, if you haven’t already, look it up. You need to.), and spices. I tend to like my food with flavor but hot. I add cumin, curry, red pepper, cinnamon, and sometimes a little nutmeg (minuscule amounts); besides the nutmeg, I usually add a good dosage of each. The sauce, as it cools, tightens and thickens around the pasta (again, with the thickening, what can I say?).

#5 - Between the Bread

Classic. No way to get past it. Toasted, roasted, grilled, refrigerated, or even as is. Not much else to say, honestly. It’s a sandwich, who doesn’t love a sandwich?

#4 - With Rice

Please believe me. Please, please believe me. It tastes good. It really does. Make a good batch of rice throw in just enough peanut butter to flavor and bring the rice all together but not enough to be obnoxious. Peanut butter and rice is sticky, silky, good warm or cold, and mushy. (Mushy in my book is a good thing, if a food is supposed to be mushy.) Like, not soupy mushy, but not grainy or crunchy (less you prefer crunchy peanut butter, in that case it should be crunchy).

#3 - Ants on a Log

You know how all different things can bring a person back to a memory? Well, I’m extremely sensitive to tastes. Apple juice and Pringles bring me back to sleepovers at my Grandparent’s. Ants on a Log brings me back to my childhood. I think of my mother, when she shared her favorite treats with my brother and I. Besides the way that celery’s watery, crunch and the chewy sweetness of raisins mixes heavenly with Jif peanut butter, my love for Ants on a Log is almost completely about the sensory experience.

#2 - In Sweet Potato

I thought I was weird for this one. Then I joined Tumblr. Apparently, it’s not so weird. So you should try it. Because frankly, it’s number two on this list. Which should say a lot. In sweet potato soup, sweet potato mash, just on a sweet potato, or any other way you can think of. The distinct sweet potato flavor plus the nuttiness of peanut butter…I’m sort of at a loss for words with it.

#1 - Out of the Jar

Honestly, who are we kidding? I mean, we can think up as many fancy ways to eat it as we can, but does anything really beat straight out of the jar?

Okay, there's one more. 

As I was promptly alerted, I forgot to mention one important way I love to consume peanut butter. When The Boy cooks for me!

Flourless Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

Hannah-friendly Peanut Butter Donuts

Birthday Veggie Stir Fry with Haitian Hot Pepper Peanut Butter (with teriyaki mixed in the sauce)

Flourless Peanut Butter Muffins

I enjoy dating a cook.

My Best Recipe Book

Elephants. Probably African. Quotes: Dr. Seuss, Holden Caulfield, a Bible verse, Mark Twain, other various writers. Numerous icons. Word documents. Excel sheets. Folders. Unfinished poems. Lots of blue. Not a dark blue, but light. 

My computer desktop.

I stare at it a lot.

Most of the time I’m not really doing anything on my computer. Just sitting there, staring at my desktop background, waiting for something to happen. (Unfortunately, I do not have a magical computer that creates amazing works of writing or art by itself that I can take credit for.)

So until one of those brilliant, momentous, immensely rare ideas comes along my desktop gazing and the Internet keep me occupied.

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Blogger, and around again. Unfortunately, like my computer, those sites are not magical and not self-propelled, that they do need a human behind them to make something happen. Staring at them won’t make a bunch of people suddenly want to visit to my blog, or follow me on Twitter and Tumblr. Staring at Facebook won’t make one of my friends decide they want to message me.

So, I turn to Google.

Ahh… Google.

The depths and crevices and caverns of Google used to intimidate me. I was one of those who stuck to the top two choices. If they didn’t give me what I wanted, I ran away screaming saying the answer could not be found.

(Not out loud or anything, just a small fit of frustration inside my head.)

However, one day I realized that Google could be magical. Google can lead you to wonderful things, full of goodness and tasty joy.

As I continued to learn more and more about myself, like all the different restrictions my body was making to my diet, I also learned the wonders of one of the most used search engines.

Google was no longer some mysterious place full of unneeded knowledge or useless and undiscoverable information. I now saw Google as one giant, enormous, ever-growing, ever-changing, ever-changeABLE recipe book.

Now, when the confines of social networking bring me down or just aren’t moving fast enough, I spend my time looking for recipes that I can eat or alter to my needs. By the way, you can find some pretty strange recipes online. (There are some really freaky food combinations going on in the world.)

People are weird these days.

Through professional websites, linking sites, and other personal food blogs, I’ve acquired many recipes and gained a ton of foodie knowledge. I often look for recipes that I wouldn’t have to change a lot. It’s been surprising how much is out there that I never realized before. Another favorite thing is finding recipes that I can distort into my own culinary creation.

Google has also validated that I’m not so crazy. (Or maybe…I’m just not crazy alone.) People think I do weird stuff with peanut butter; you should try googling “Peanut butter sandwich recipes” or “Best peanut butter sandwich.” I get a lot of my ideas from searches like that.

Peanut butter, mustard, and onion is one experiment I did not think up myself. But it doesn’t sound half bad at all.

Also, I never knew this (how naive I am) that peanut butter and oatmeal is actually a big deal. Who knew?

Ants on a Log Oatmeal

Google is the best for the times my oatmeal is lacking or I’m tired of the same old, same old.

My advice to you is to start with something simple (oatmeal, pizza, peanut butter sandwich, etc.), whatever your favorite is, and go on Google and get inspired. Try something totally new. Do you like two certain things? Try them together. That’s how I got my peanut butter and horseradish mustard sandwich. Now, that combination has flown way past sandwich filling status.

Having to be so careful with what I eat, I’m suddenly aware of how much I love to cook (or experiment, as I prefer to call it). I don’t do it a lot, but finding recipes and getting my hands dirty is a joy I never knew I had.

Until the inconsistent World Wide Web flips and flops again and transforms into something new, Google will continue to be a great source of inspiration and my best recipe book.

I’ve gathered so many recipe links, that I sort of overwhelmed myself. I just kept finding more and more without ever actually making any of it.

This year I’m hoping to change that.

Tuesday, (the last day before school started) was bittersweet for me. Bitter because I knew when I woke up in the morning I’d have to prepare for school. Sweet beyond imagination because I chose to spend the day in the kitchen. I went through the list of links I have and found a couple recipes I had been dying to try.

The first was from a website, Nutty About Health. The author, Karey, posted a recipe titled “Low-carb Sweet Almond Buns.” When I read it and saw how she raved about them, I went out and bought almond flour specifically to make them. Tuesday, I finally took action.

I did make a couple changes though. I used actual brown sugar. I omitted the coconut oil and just subbed another tablespoon of margarine. I love sea salt, but I didn’t have any, so regular worked fine. Even with my alterations, I couldn’t believe how delicious these were! It was my first almond flour recipe and it was a great first impression. They even had a nice little tang to them. I love simple recipes that are quick and easy to make.

Karey, thanks for the awesome Hannah-friendly recipe, I’ll definitely be keeping this one around.

After school snack yesterday! With The Bee's Knees Peanut Butter.

The second treasure I tried was from Big Girls Small Kitchen. From here, I baked their Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip Cookie Breakfast Bars. I am absolutely positive it did not turn out the way they intended. Due less to the fact that I had to alter it, and more to the fact I need to learn to read the direction section completely.

Either way, I can guarantee you I will be making this again.

In my version I could say I omitted the vanilla extract, but frankly I just forgot about it. Then, the whole “bar” part sort of got left in the dust when I put all the batter into ONE loaf pan instead of TWO.

(I seriously need to learn to read directions.)

I also probably didn’t let it cool as much as I should have before cutting into it.

As I said though, I’ll be making it again.

I cut the loaf into strips, and then carefully wiggled them free. Some of them were really crumbly, so parts of it were not kept. For the majority of creation, I sliced it thick then made little squares. (After splitting three into squares, I learned my lesson and stuck the rest in the fridge for a little to chill.)

Finally tasting chocolate chips (I found dairy-free) surrounded by a gooey cookie dough again was enough to sell me. Even without the vanilla, I didn’t feel like the squares were missing anything. The pecans give it crunch, the chocolate melts, and the dough of my version had a classic chewy texture necessary for any cookie bar to succeed.

A couple pieces made their way to school with me.

Lastly, I looked around at a couple different baked tortilla chip recipes and sort of made my own. They came out pretty tasty. I used whole-wheat tortillas, cut up into triangles, and added some spices and olive oil. I need to tweak the spice combo, but I thought for a first attempt it wasn’t bad.

These wonderful treats made my first week of school much less terrible.

With all my lists of recipes, I wonder, instead of passing down family heirloom scrapbooks filled with recipes; is my generation going to pass along e-mails filled with web addresses? Or a secret flash drive that only a few select people know how to access? 

Well, that's my philosophical wonderings for the day. 

For the recipes I made above, follow this links:
Low-Carb Sweet Almond Buns
Oatmeal-Chocolate Chip Cookie Breakfast Bar